


Willpower

by IAmWhelmed



Category: Dead or Alive (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Heartbroken Hitomi, Heartbroken Leifang, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Jann Lee, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 02:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20074285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmWhelmed/pseuds/IAmWhelmed
Summary: "Lei Fang’s dress was white, and long, and gorgeous-- and the slit up her leg was ripped in three different directions. Her eyes were worse, dead, empty, staring into nothing as she sipped a glass of straight whiskey. There was a feeling Hitomi had, one she hadn’t felt in a long time, a bad feeling, like the last breath of air before you went underwater to drown. Something had changed, something was going to change. Hitomi wasn’t sure she’d like it."Jann Lee breaks Lei Fang's heart, and Hitomi is here to witness her coming back together again.





	Willpower

She'd known Lei Fang for awhile now, about three years. Maybe more. Hitomi liked to think they were best friends, closest confidants- rivals. She liked to think they knew each other better than anyone else, that their traded secrets (harbored loves burdened by circumstance) and months spent training and movie nights with popcorn and ice cream- she liked to think they amounted to an understanding unrivaled by anyone they'd known before.

Despite all this, she'd never seen Lei Fang cry.

Lei Fang, who was as fiery and determined as she was stubborn, who got kicked down and rejected again and again for close to a decade and only took it as a challenge, she'd been embarrassed but never sad. Never discouraged. Never heartbroken. Hitomi knew what heartbreak was, felt it every time she saw auburn hair and stern eyes that still felt as warm as strong arms over her shoulders. She knew what it felt like to wonder if he felt the same way, and more than anything, she knew when it got too much and she had to shed her tears and mourn a love she feared would never be. It didn't happen often, only once in awhile, but occasionally. When Hayate smiled at her, when she was rarely reminded that he'd spent more time away than he'd spent at the dojo with her, she'd cry. She was silent for the most part, dug the heels of her hands into her eyes and let it out as she curled into herself on her couch, let the TV blare and block it all out as she remembered slowly but surely how to breath.

Lei Fang had seen it once, showed up at her front door at the wrong time. Hitomi hoped it hadn't been obvious, that she'd smiled enough and that her voice didn't crack, but Lei Fang saw her eyes (and the shameful red rim of her waterline). Anyone else might have asked her if she'd been watching a sad movie, or gotten bad news. Lei Fang? Lei Fang took one look at her, grit her teeth, and said: "Where'd the bastard go? Where is he?" Hitomi had wanted to laugh, but she let out a sob and rubbed at her sore eyes and said: "Busy. He's busy."

Lei Fang told her that no man worth her time would ever be too busy for her. Hitomi guessed she was right, but they both knew these strings around their hearts were far from snapping, despite how sternly they may be strung.

But Lei Fang never cried, not in front of her at least. She just got angry. She punched down walls, kicked over columns. She trained harder than any one person should be physically able to handle. She came back harder and stronger and it still never seemed to be enough. It was a cycle, one she resonated with, respected, and kind of grieved. But she and Lei Fang did it every year now. They went and trained and sparred, and eventually parted ways to go kick some butt in the tournament. Except neither of them ever won, for varying reasons. It happened. They'd win it next time. That's what she figured when she met Lei Fang at the bar a few weeks after the sixth tournament. They were going to have a few drinks, lament their losses, Lei Fang would smack talk Jann Lee, Hitomi would laugh, and they'd get on with the next year.

Lei Fang's dress was white, and long, and gorgeous- and the slit up her leg was ripped in three different directions. Her eyes were worse, dead, empty, staring into nothing as she sipped a glass of straight whiskey. There was a feeling Hitomi had, one she hadn't felt in a long time, a bad feeling, like the last breath of air before you went underwater to drown. Something had changed, something was going to change. Hitomi wasn't sure she'd like it.

"Hey, what's up?" She tried to keep her voice a level up, cheery, normal.

Lei Fang glanced at her from the side, gave her a small smile with a busted lip, and what she could now see was a budding bruise at the bone of her cheek. "You made it."

"Of course!" She made a show of glancing over her face, and skimming over the dirtied, mussed stains of her dress. One of her shoes' heels was snapped. The other strap around the ankle had torn in two. She resisted the urge to let out a low whistle. That jerk had done a number on her this time. "So, should I see the other guy?"

Lei Fang snorted and tipped her glass back, finishing the rest in two, three gulps. She set the glass down and the bartender filled it as soon as it hit the wood, and Hitomi was starting to get the impression that she hadn't walked in on her first drink. "Yeah, I gave him a few good shiners. Maybe that smug face of his will have a broken nose tomorrow."

"Mmm."

The bartender welcomed her, took her card for a tab and filled her glass with a colorful cocktail.

"Did you beat him again?"

"No."

Lei Fang's vacant eyes followed the (second? third? more?) whiskey and round ice as it did laps around the rim, her blue and purple wrist looking worse for wear every second. Hitomi took a hesitant sip of her pink fruity drink and waited.

The silence was deafening and stale. She wasn't used to quiet around Lei Fang. She glanced around the bar where other Dead or Alive contestants had gathered in the distance. She supposed Lei Fang had decided to sit in the farthest place she could. She found no eyes wandering in their direction, but gathered from Tina's shift in their direction and Helena's far-off eye that they were listening. She'd have to keep her voice low.

"I guess I got what I wanted."

"Huh?"

Lei Fang chuckled, smile usually so sly and taunting now sardonic as she stared down the shelves of the bar. Her eyes were still hollow, but Hitomi could see a glaze in the bar light's reflection. "I never wanted something normal. Dinner dates, flowers, romantic birthdays alone… I never wanted any of that. It's boring." She wasn't sure if Lei Fang was talking to her or simply lamenting, so she didn't say anything, just gripped her drink and held it to her like a lifeline. "Never will have any of that, will I?" Lei Fang exhaled, and she couldn't tell if she was laughing or sighing. She watched as Lei Fang's nimble fingers clutched at the bar glass, noticed with growing concern that her hand was trembling.

"Lei Fang?"

"How stupid…" Something snapped. Barren eyes filled with tears that fell in rhythm. That smile, that sarcastic, humorless smile twisted into something bitter, something that Hitomi realized with a starting realization… was heartbreak.

She set her drink on the bar and leaped into Lei Fang, pulling her into her arms and squeezing her as a warning that she wasn't letting go. Lei Fang, who she knew all this time was a warrior, who was a powerhouse and an untoward partition, didn't even put up a fight. She went limp in her arms, weeping openly as she dug her head into her chest and pressed her fists to either side, wept like she'd forgotten to for years. She shook and trembled and whimpered, and she mumbled over and over again as though the realization continued to occur to her. "I'm so stupid!" _He doesn't even see me. I'm nothing to him. _She heard every word Lei Fang couldn't say, set her chin on her head and fought her own tears because she needed to be the strong one right now.

She glanced up to see if anyone was looking. Helena was burying her head in her pool game with Bass, Tina had turned her back to them completely. If anybody else was paying attention, they weren't letting on about it. Eliot turned to glance over at them, concern filling his big expressive eyes, but Brad Wong wrapped an arm around him and tugged him tight into his chest. Hitomi closed her eyes and buried her head in Lei Fang's hair.

"I know," she hushed, "I know."

* * *

Lei Fang had a date. A real, honest-to-god date. His name was Chao Li, and he was the wealthy son of one of her father's friends. He looked handsome in the magazine pictures Lei Fang brought to show her, and according to his father, he'd become particularly well-versed in the art of bowling as a hobby. She'd caught his eye at a charity event in Hong Kong. She said yes when he sent a massive card (roughly her height and maybe her weight) and a wheelbarrow of peonies, orchids, and lotus blossoms. Hitomi was happy for her, because she deserved to be admired and sought after, and just a tiny part of her was smug that she'd bagged such an amazing guy. She mentioned it to Tina in passing one day when they ran into each other at the beach. Tina laughed and whistled and said: "That's what she needs to do. Light a fire under his ass!" She didn't need to ask who Tina meant. They both knew.

Lei Fang came back a few weeks later as they met up for brunch at the pretty cafe near Hitmoi's house, told her Chao Li was just as hot in person as he was on paper. He'd brought her to see a famous ballet, then took her on a romantic boat ride under the blossoming cherry trees and stars. He'd held her hand and told her that he'd never seen a woman so strong and fascinating. He'd said there wasn't a woman like her. Hitomi agreed, and giggled through the whole story. She just couldn't help but notice that Lei Fang's smile didn't reach her eyes.

Lei Fang continued dating Chao Li, though they hadn't gone as far as claiming "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" status. She had a feeling Lei Fang didn't want to put a label on it. That was too normal, too mundane. If Chao Li had a problem with it, Lei Fang hadn't told her. Time passed, a few months went by, the seventh Dead or Alive tournament would begin soon. She worried Lei Fang would pull out, but she was more than happy to start training again. Chao Li insisted that she compete, told her "you have a talent, what use is it to hide you away from the world?" He wouldn't hide her beauty from his colleagues, he certainly wouldn't hide her strength. Hitomi had cooed and told Lei Fang how perfect he was for her, and Lei Fang agreed- but she wouldn't look her in the eyes.

As usual, she and Lei Fang trained and sparred and gave each other pointers, and they grew stronger and better with each day. It felt like there was something missing, though, and it didn't occur to her until Zack was popping up in a helicopter with DOA invitations that they hadn't once mentioned the elephant in the room, the foe she and Lei Fang would undoubtedly face. As she and Lei Fang hopped into the helicopter, something cold and heavy and wet sunk into the pit of her stomach. Dread.

* * *

As usual, she and Lei Fang passed the first stages of the tournament with no competition. Wins came easy, and the same people who made it to the quarter finals last year made it to this year too. Mila, Eliot, Diego, Tina, Bass, Kokoro, Rig… Jann Lee. She had yet to mention his name to Lei Fang, not because she was purposely avoiding it but, uh… okay maybe she was a little. But every time they saw the leaderboards, saw his face plastered on the screen by Diego's, she couldn't help but hold her breath; Lei Fang was trying not to notice. Chao Li had been in the audience for every single round, cheered with the crowd and was there when Lei Fang won to welcome her into his arms. So sure enough he hung around them when they chilled out at the bar.

Tina whistled low as she checked him out, said, and I quote: "Damn Lei Fang, got yourself a slick and thick piece of meat!" Lei Fang rolled her eyes and Mila busted into gut-wrenching laughter. Zack pounced and gave the guy a warm welcome, and Brad Wong raised his glass in greeting. The three of them eventually took a seat at the table with Mila and Tina, who were teasing Eliot across the way for being adorable. He got flustered, and mad, but Brad Wong's laughter settled him from doing anything he'd regret. A few hours flew by with laughter and drinks, and Lei Fang was a little tipsy, and Hitomi might have been too. Rig had walked in, sat down, and ordered an Old Fashioned at some point, and Helena had clocked out early into the night. Drunk Lei Fang picked fights with Bass and Drunk Hitomi laughed as it happened. Sober(er) Chao Li tried his best to smooth things over with Bass by stroking his ego. Hitomi was vaguely aware that her sides were killing her and that she'd well run out of air to expunge in fits of hysteria, but the laughter had merely turned to breathless heaves. Bass himself seemed almost amused, watching as Chao Li made his very best efforts toward keeping Lei Fang's hind in her chair.

Hitomi hoped that Jann Lee walking into the bar wouldn't ruin the mood, and it didn't. She, like Lei Fang, seemed to be the only one to notice him walking in. There were greetings, some from Kokoro, some from the bartender, but Lei Fang stayed silent, choosing instead to lean her weight into Chao Li's side. He seemed surprised, if not pleased, oblivious to the sudden departure of the cheery girl he'd known all this time. He wrapped an arm over her shoulders and smiled to himself. Hitomi glanced at Jann Lee to see if he'd noticed them, but the man had set his eyes on Rig and looked ready to spar. Hitomi snorted to herself. Of course he would. She hated to pity Lei Fang, knew she'd never want that, but it was hard not to when even she could say her affections were… recognized. At the very least, Hayate was never anything but kind to her. Jann Lee never seemed to not have a Kung Fu stick up his- Hitomi exhaled through her nose.

Instead of starting a fight, Jann Lee ordered a drink, sat silently a few stools away from Rig and stayed there, staring into nothing. _Good,_ Hitomi thought, _he can stay over there_. She wasn't sure where Lei Fang sat on fighting Jann Lee again, but she had a feeling she wasn't likely to spring for a sparring match. She had her head buried in Chao Li's shoulder and abandoned her drink on the table. He leaned his head on hers, whispering into her hair. "Are you tired?" Lei Fang shook her head, and he pressed a kiss to her hair. "Would you like to head back?" Hitomi felt her heart pop watching them, though the grossed-out or embarrassed murmurs of the younger contestants might have made her giggle. Bass nearly lamented on his relationship with Tina's late mother, much to Tina's mortified disbelief.

Lei Fang raised her head so that her chin set on his shoulder, and she pouted. "You don't have to baby me, I can finish my drink at least." Chao Li grinned and leaned forward, pressing- much to Hitomi's stunned silence- a gentle kiss to her lips. Lei Fang didn't seem to kiss back, but she didn't resist either. She closed her eyes and pouted some more when he drew away. Kokoro's and Elito's faces turned red at the public display, while Tina and Mila and Zack couldn't seem less bothered by it. "Geez, I haven't had that much!"

"Of course not," He smirked and pulled away, standing with his empty bottle in hand. "I'm getting another beer, then. Anyone want anything? On me."

A few people cheered and raised their glasses to another round, and Chao Li graciously took to the bar. Lei Fang met Hitomi's eyes as she readjusted to sit up straight, and met Hitomi's small smile with an even smaller one.

They weren't expecting the crash that came from the bar. Hitomi whipped around to see Rig, lightly pushing Chao Li's half-limp body off of his own, glaring daggers at Jann Lee who, much to Hitomi's surprise, stood barring one raised fist. Chao Li clutched his cheek in one hand steadied himself with the other, nearly tripping on the toppled barstool as he climbed off of Rig's lap, looking for all the world like a scared child, filled with disbelief. Rig mumbled something along the lines of "Was that really necessary?"

Hitomi took a chance glance at Lei Fang and found that she had also heard the commotion, and was readily alert. Her fists clenched and unclenched at her sides, raring to fight, but the look on her face said that she was too shocked to move.

Chao Li scrambled to stand, backing away from Jann Lee slowly, cautiously. Jann Lee scoffed, turned to Lei Fang and nodded to her recoiling lover. "This is who you choose, Lei Fang?" Her mouth opened, but she said nothing. The entire bar had turned to watch whatever the hell had begun unfolding, and Hitomi herself found the scene too disastrous to turn away from. A car-wreck in slow motion. Jann Lee ran a thumb over his top lip, brushing away sweat that wasn't even there as he turned to face her. "You choose a coward who could never defend you?"

"I'm perfectly capable of defending myself!" Lei Fang's voice trembled despite the insistence in her tone. Jann Lee said nothing.

Instead he raised his glass, finished the last drop, and left the bar without so much as a second glance. Chao Li went home that night, and neither Hitomi nor Lei Fang blamed him, but he'd proven Jann Lee right. More than anything, Hitomi knew, that was what would irritate Lei Fang the most.

* * *

Lei Fang began training harder than she'd ever seen her train before. More viscous. Unending. She was up before Hitomi was and last to fall asleep. She was constantly challenging other contestants to spar, and winning every time. Hitomi was impressed, if not a little concerned. They sparred one last time before the quarter finals and wished each other luck.

Once again, like every tournament before, Lei Fang went up against Jann Lee.

She was all fierce, no serenity, little grace, only anger. Hitomi watched from one of the upper wings and silently cheered on her friend, hoping against all hope that this is the one time she wins in the ring, because Jann Lee needed to be brought down a peg.

The two went back and forth, exchanging blow after blow, going round in circles with kicks that broke or sprained wrists and punches that made the audience wince. Hitomi herself found her fists squeezing the guarding pole tight enough that it sunk it under her nails. She'd never been so nervous for a fight she wasn't partaking in before.

"Hitomi."

She gasped, twisting around to find her own internal struggle staring her in the face, warm eyes lighting up over a smile as hot as the sun itself, she swore it felt like it anyway. Her cheeks heated against every unwilling bone in her body. "Ei-Hayate!"

He approached the rail to stand at her side, watching with crossed arms as Jann Lee and Lei Fang exchanged bone-breaking blow after blow. Hitomi, though still nervous, shy even, returned to her original position. Hayate tilted his head. "Jann Lee's going to win."

Hitomi blanched. "Don't be so sure! Lei Fang has been training really hard the last few days!"

"Train as she might, there is no surpassing his will."

"She's got a pretty strong will too." She smiled, thought about fights over a cabbage and hot volleyball matches that left dents in the sand. Yes, Lei Fang had a will unlike many she'd ever known. If there was any girl out there who could beat Jann Lee into submission, it was her, and in the face of recent failings, she still believed she would. "I believe in her."

She felt his eyes glancing her up and down. "Some things are stronger than will to defeat the undefeatable."

"Like?"

Hayate turned back to the match, as though he hadn't been skimming over the bare skin between her shirt and pants or the shine in her eyes (a color he'd still dream about to this day, and wake feeling more complete). "The will to love."

* * *

She'd been so close, she was sure of it. Just one more well-timed throw, one more blocked fist, and the fight would have been hers. But she'd been too slow, or maybe too focused on hurting him when she should have focused on avoiding him. Thus was the story of her life, she supposed. One knock to the stomach and she was flat on her hind end, wincing as she skidded to the floor and hit the back of her head. Ouch, that was gonna hurt in the morning, not as much as her pride would, though.

Lei Fang winced, raised one hand to the back of her aching skull and glared up at Jann Lee's approaching figure in the too-bright lights of the DOA ring. _What a jerk,_ she grinded in her head. _What an absolute ass_. She hated him, hated him more than anyone she'd ever had a mind to hate before. She hated him for his arrogance and his smugness, hated him for how cold he was, how he couldn't seem to ever let her _win_, in or out of the ring. She hated how he'd taken so many years from her, how she finally thought she was done and he riled her up and pulled her right back in. She hated that he'd never give her what she wanted, but he was more than happy to keep her trying. Tears, frustrated, hurt, angry, helpless- they burned at the corners of her eyes like firecrackers but she refused to let them spring to life. She would not cry in front of him. She'd wasted enough tears on a man who would never earn them, and a man who would never care to. She bared her teeth and cupped her bruised and swelling cheek, hissing at him and hoping he saw the _hatred_ in her eyes, because he'd never seen anything else in them before. Lei Fang leveled her breathing as Jann Lee approached, looking down at her with the same infuriating stare the egged her to get up. She wanted to- boy, did she want to- but she was done. She shouldn't have wasted this tournament getting ready to fight him, shouldn't have wasted years trying to get him to _acknowledge_ her.

"Do you see now, Lei Fang?"

"See what?" She spat the words out, like blood in her mouth. Jann Lee cocked his head, once again scoffed at her. How she hated that.

Then he surprised her in the next moment by offering his hand. She glanced at the outstretched arm, then trailed it back up to his cold, calculating face. She must have looked confused, because he carried on. "There is no other man on this planet who can protect you. Wasting your time is foolish." She reached to touch his hand, but paused at the last minute, still feeling for all the world like he'd given her a concussion, knocked her into a coma. He must have. He closed the distance and captured her hand in his own, pulling her up with such strength that she felt the air leave her chest.

Lei Fang found herself face-to-face with Jann Lee, chests inches apart, though he'd released her hand. She glanced from her hands, clasped at her chest, to his face, finding it harder with each passing second to look at him. But she would, because she was Lei Fang, and he was Jann Lee, and he'd never settle for anything less. She should have figured, should have guessed. His eyes bore into hers and never left, the equivalent to burning her fluttering eyelids right off.

A few meters away, Hitomi's jaw was dropping the lowest it had ever gone, and Hayate was smiling to himself.

* * *

Hitomi won the tournament, not in short thanks to Lei Fang's enthusiastic cheering in the crowd (she swore she could hear her voice over thousands). Jann Lee, most shockingly of all, bowed out of the competition after that fight. Hitomi wondered if his intention had been to beat Lei Fang all along, if he'd never intended to stick around the competition. Considering Rig hadn't entered, and Mila knocked Diego out in their match, that was probably the best guess.

Chao Li never spoke to Lei Fang again, probably thought Jann Lee would punch him again. Which was fine because he probably would.

Lei Fang started openly talking about Jann Lee and how she was gonna beat him again for sure. She trained hard, but there was no more talk of Jann Lee accepting her. As far as Hitomi could tell, he'd done well more than that. Sure, Lei Fang sometimes showed up to their hang-outs with bruises all over, but the smile on Lei Fang's face was unmistakable (and so were bruises on her nape of her neck that were decidedly not a result of sparring). She did happen to see her friends cry once or twice after that, but it was all a result of watching a really sad family film that left both of them in tears. So did it count? Not really, Hitomi decided.

When they made chocolates on Valentine's Day, Lei Fang stuck to making something coffee-flavored. "I just feel like going a little less sweet this year." Hitomi grinned and kept her thoughts to herself, deciding that was perfectly fine because it meant she had to buy less sugar. The chocolates came out prettier than last year, and tastier (they'd had to sneak a bite). They'd stayed up all night and crashed on her couch watching rom-coms.

When they woke up, the box Hitomi had made had disappeared. Lei Fang laughed at her and said: "He's Japanese, isn't he? There better be a white day gift in March or I'll kick his ass for you."

If Lei Fang's chocolates were passed off to somebody else again this year, she certainly didn't act like it. In fact, Hitomi thought she saw a nearly permanent skip in her step.

There weren't anymore stories about romantic dates under moonlight or tales about a spring boat ride with recited poetry, but there were rants about sparring matches that didn't end her way, and stories where Lei Fang grew red and trailed off before cutting the story short altogether. Hitomi could see the details swarming in her big round eyes, and let her imagination run wild with what Jann Lee might be like when he's being _nice_.

The eighth Dead or Alive tournament came around, and once again, Hitomi and Lei Fang hit the road and trained. It went about the way it always did, though when they inevitably followed (stalked) Jann Lee to find out how his training had been going, Lei Fang wasn't shy about talking to him. The two exchanged witty banter; she taunted him, and he snarked. To Hitomi's joy, not necessarily surprise, Lei Fang offered to help Jann Lee train.

He took them up on it.

After a few sparring matches, Lei Fang and Hitomi decided to hit the road again. They wrapped their swollen limbs and put some bandaids on their cuts and waved goodbye to Jann Lee, who was covered in ACE bandages, himself. He'd merely nodded and gone back to training. The girls parted, but not before Hitomi caught the smallest exchange.

Lei Fang dilly dallied and let her eyes wander and watch him as he broke a log in half.

Hitomi bet neither of them knew it, but she saw him turn and smile at her.


End file.
